Open Letter

Hi Person who stopped all of the sudden on the stairway in Amoeba Music,

How you doing? Everything good with the family? Good, good. How was Christmas, or is it Hanukkah? Christmas, yeah, ha I thought so, didn't want to assume though. It makes an...well you know the saying. Have good New Year's Eve plans? Oh, you're doing a thing on Hollywood and Highland. Cool. I did the last year, it was ok I guess. Wasn't my scene, really, but it was crowded so I wouldn't say it wasn't popular.

Anyway.

I wanted to talk to you about that time that you stopped all of the sudden on the stairway in Amoeba Records. Yeah, the one with all the posters. Yeah...the one that goes to the store's DVD section. Yeah, it has two flights, listen, the only staircase that's in the store.

The thing about that stairway is that gets A LOT of foot traffic...you know about that, you've been there plenty of times. So you know that there is always a constant stream of people walking. So you should also figure out sooner than later that there is a not a worse spot in the store to all of the sudden just stop walking. First of all, I had to do this weird jerking sudden halt. It made me look like a spazz . As a person who is a spaz, I try to carry myself with a certain kind of dignity, and you completely ruined the facade.

Secondly, all you did was kind of look dumbly at the posters and then kept going. What entranced you so much that you had to freeze in place to look at it? They're movie posters. You acted like a blind person whose eyesight had been restored and was experiencing the color blue for the first time.

I could understand if you were older and were just moving at a snail's pace, as some of our older brothers and sisters do from time to time. But you are a young guy, you can handle a couple flights of stairs.

Alright, that's all I really had to say. Enjoy your New Years. Oh and if you ever stop short in front of me again, I'm going to lose my shit.

Your Friend,

Will